Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Life will pass you by if you don't have the antidote to the toxin.

I find it insane how much of our life we spend worrying about nothing, about everything. Minutes turn to hours of worrying everyday, and so much of life's beauty is forgotten. The idea of not having enough money blocks out the thought of how warm a kiss on the cheek feels, how pleasant the sound of a baby giggling can be. Everyday sights and sounds become blurred into the background as life's major concerns take us over cell by cell.

Of course I can't sit on a high horse and judge everyone around me, because I too find myself over thinking, worrying about finances, the future, and how to maintain the certain happyness and childlike wonder I hold so very deep in my soul. What I've realized the past few weeks is just how viral such thinking can be. It seeps into my skin, attaches to my cells and soon enters my bloodstream. From there I can feel my temperature rise, my breathing strain and a sense of anxiety enters my mind. The twisted, sick feeling sits in my chest, stomach and brain for hours upon hours, consuming my every thought. Sometimes it is easier to just fall asleep and hope that when you open your eyes, those feelings will have resided, and the world will once again find equilibrium.

We all know viruses never go away. There is no cure for a virus that enters the body, the risk of it coming back is always there-- lurking in the background.

But my question to the world, to myself, Why do we let such a virus enter our system? What happened to the days when all we worried about was getting to stay up late in the summertime, sneak an extra dessert after dinner, or getting that first kiss without our parents finding out? What happened to the days when childlike wonder flowed through our mind, making the world seem brighter, happier and full of possibilities with very few heartaches? There was no worry over money, jobs, living conditions, or transportation. There was no fear of being heartbroken and alone for life. None of that was relevant. Why does it have to be now?

I can try to deny the lurking fears that I've allowed to enter my body, but I know that sooner or later they will surface. Instead of masking them with bad decisions, impulsive buying, or even rash decision making, I try to find the simple things that make me happy; baking, reading, writing, petting an animal, helping someone find their way (whether it's physically finding their way on the road or metaphorically speaking in life), listening to music, and taking walks.

Some people choose to call this 'therapy', but I just call it living. Ooh, there's a radical idea. Go out and do the things I love to do, seek the finer/beautiful things in life instead of laying in bed late at night, worrying about the mysteries of my private student loan, wondering if I will be able to find my next place to live by the time my Lease is up in 10 months.

Babies laugh. The sky burns blue in the daytime. The sun sets in the West, rises in the East. Flowers bloom. The eyes of a broke street performers light up when a few cents are dropped in their hat.

Musicians put their heart and soul into every piece of music.
(Artists put their heart and soul into every work of art.)
[Authors put their heart and soul into every piece of writing.]

Lovers hold hands at 2 years old, 10 years old, 24 years old, 50 years old, and even 90 years old.
(Lovers kiss in public at 2 years old, 10 years old, 24 years old, 50 years old, and even 90 years old.)
[Love never dies.]

People may live their lives when they want to, when things are easy and fun. But it is very seldom to see people living their lives when they need to; when life gives them lemons, which is really just a nice way to say when life beats them over the head with a frying pan.

Two mottos to try to follow.

One modifies the other, and vice versa.
(Change the world one heart at a time.)
[Starting with your own.]

From there, spread the joy to every plant, animal, and human being on this Earth. If we're all put here together there must be a reason for it, and what better reason than to share life with one another? What better reason than to not let life pass us by because of solitary worries?

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